Theory Blown To Bits ....

I had it. The kind of moment that while you are talking in that moment you know it's not you, but that God is speaking through you. It was quite amazing. And I must say faith-building. It just confirmed how I am right where I need to be at this point in my life. That God carved out a purpose for little ol' me. While He is busy with the "big things" like making sure the stars are in the right place in the sky at night or that a child in a third-world country gets a meal today, He is taking the time to make sure I know He has a purpose for me.

I was "doing my thing" working at church this morning. I was pumped with all the activity going on because it was Promotion Sunday for our 6th graders. (By the way, it was amazing to actually see how many students are in our ministry and to already see that God will be doing a mighty work in the Student Ministry this school year at Brookwood.)

Anyways, a mother of a high schooler that I had met before wanted to talk with me with her daughter there. It was like I was looking in a mirror from 15 years ago. It was absolutely scary in how reflective it was.

I was the girl scared to talk to anyone. I had no real friends. Hated myself, how I looked and how I felt. Hated my life at home. Didn't like the church I was at. I just wanted to stay in my room away from the world. Just wanted to be homeschooled in order to avoid people at school. Had no clue who I was. Had no clue of God's love for me. Had no clue of how a true family operated. Had no clue of what church really was. (If my Mom hadn't literally pushed me out of a car to go apply for a job when I turned 16 years old, I would still be that girl - living in a hard, cold shell.)

I saw that same girl today at church with her Mom. And I just had to reach out to her. "Karen the Assistant for the Student Ministry" wasn't talking to the girl and her Mom today. The Karen that has overcome some of those issues with God's help (and is still working on a few of those issues) was talking. God was directing my words. I listened to myself talk and was like "where did that come from??". And when it was all over I was exhausted yet amazed. I was shocked that God would use some of the junk from my past to help in such a powerful way. I want that girl to know the God who created everything, created her for a reason. That He loves her more than anything. That He made her the way He did for a reason. And that He is there to love her no matter what she does, how she looks or how she feels on any given day of the week. And that there are other students like her that she can connect and grow with. (We have some pretty amazing students in the High School ministry. Students that I wish surrounded me while I was growing up.) This Mom wants me to be around on Wednesday nights with her daughter to help her connect. But I had to explain to her that God has lead me to get back into Praise Choir. With God's guidance, I was able to think of a way to help that the Mom was good with. But it would involve the assistance of another student. After our conversation I thought - who would be able to really help connect with her. Who would stick with this girl for the school year to help her? And sure enough God directed my steps to one of the best student's for this girl. In less than 5 minutes, before I even had a chance to pray to God about it, He stepped in and provided an awesome student that is willing to stick with this girl.

I have heard people talk about experiences like this and thought that these were wonderful experiences, but that God would never use me for something like that. That I am not knowledgeable enough or any of the other hundreds of reasons lies that Satan wanted me to believe. Today God blew that theory to bits and he made those bits turn to dust. This experience has made me realize that I need to fill up on even more of Him. To re-wallpaper my mind even more with God's Word so that I will be ready for the next time God uses me. Not if He uses me again - but when. Because after this experience I know He will definitely use me again. Needless to say, after church was over I was in my van all of 5 minutes and the thoughts of "this really wasn't that big of a deal... you didn't really do anything" flooded my mind. And I immediately realized Satan was back to his old tricks. And that is how I know this experience did matter today. Because Satan was not too happy about me reaching out to someone with God's love. Right after that one of my favorite songs came on the radio. It was like God saying "that's my girl...showing some of My love to others." He knew exactly what I needed to hear by playing that song on the radio.

I hope that God rocks your world this coming week as much as He has mine. We serve, love and worship an amazing God!

Love y'all!
Karen